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When Marriage Is Hard

What do you do when the person you thought loved you, then comes to you and says they don’t even like you? How about if they say that they haven’t liked you for a long time? This can be very hurtful and cause a person to feel down and very depressed. It can also cause people to go to sleep with tears in their eyes, because of their cries. And how does this impact the communication with the same person that said this? Well, as you may have guessed, it causes a huge rift, to the point of not wanting to talk to them any more or less often. Why would they do this? Because if the person doesn’t like them, then not talking with them would probably make the other person happier. Now, if this happens while a person is dating, they can easily break up and find someone new. This would help that situation, if that is God’s will. But what about if someone is in this boat that is married? Well, if after talking with that person about what they said doesn’t go anywhere and they still don’t say sorry, then things won’t get any better, but only get worse. This is when prayer is vital for that marriage to have any more days, months or years left in it. And this doesn’t mean that only you should be praying for love to come back in the marriage, but for others you trust to pray for you as well.

Counseling is an option when our marriage is on the rocks. This is especially true if your spouse is willing to go down this road. Re-courting our spouse also helps. However, in all of this, unless the person that is saying such harsh things repents and makes things right with God and the person they hurt, then nothing else will help. And though some people may say that divorce is an option, it really isn’t unless adultery is involved. Jesus said, 1“That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.” (Matthew 5:32) The only way love can be restored in a marriage is when both husband and wife are seeking the Lord daily and are in His love. If one of them are wavering or have never put this kind of trust in God, then the spouse that loves and follows the Lord may have to carry this burden, that their spouse has placed upon them. Sure, God can help carry our burdens, but overtime it will be hard to carry on in the marriage. So what needs to happen, in order for this bad situation and pain to go away? The answer is humility and coming to God. In our humility we come before Him in our brokenness. Then, are we able to see what we have done wrong and then guidance on how to fix things.

Humility helps a person that is in the wrong to see the error of their ways and then do all they can to make things right again. These people no longer think to themselves that they have to be right all the time, but openly take the blame for what they did wrong. They then learn how to forgive as God forgives us and also say sorry, when needed. Truly, every believer desires forgiveness from God, so why don’t the same people desire to tell people sorry and forgive them also? Now, if you are a believer in Christ, then you will be familiar with what Jesus said here… 2“For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Matthew 6:14,15) And how about this… 3“Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.” (Mark 12:31) These teachings should convict people to let go of what is bothering them and give it all to God. Then, will they come to Him in their confessions and allow the Lord to change them from within. Only then can a person that dislikes others, once again love, especially their spouse. It is the Lord and His love that resurrects marriages, but both spouses need to be onboard with what He can do for their lives. Then is love brought back to life, once again.

Let us pray:
Oh Lord, I pray for every marriage that is struggling right now. You are our healer and have the power to bring restoration to it. Marriage is hard enough when we have financial issues, but when love is missing, that can really be difficult. And I know, Lord, how important love really is, in order to carry on in a marriage. Since divorce is never a good option, that must mean that You can take every bad situation and breathe new life into it. We can’t make things right on our own, but through Your strength and mighty power are we healed. So I pray for a complete restoration in my marriage also. May my spouse fully surrender to You, that You may pour into her as You pour into me daily. I know that You can do all things and can bring the love we once had back in full strength. Surely some people say that it only takes two in a marriage for things to get better, but I know that this is false. It takes three, because only by You and Your mighty hand can anything get better. It is when the person in the wrong cries out to You in their confessions, do they see what evil state they are in and repent. This turning away from sin and unto You is what saves them and their marriage from hard ache and divorce. So I pray for Your conviction to enter every spouses heart that is causing a rift in their marriage. They surely are not right with You, if they are doing this. And if it both spouses that need to work on things, lead them to know what to do, in order for things to get better. Your counsel is greater than our own or what we can receive from people. I love You and respect Your counsel for my life. I am happier and there is more love in my life and others when I honor You. Amen.

Let us read the Bible:
Note: Any Numbered References, found above, are listed below.

1Matthew 5:27-48 (KJV)
27 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:
28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
29 And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
30 And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
33 Again, ye have heard that it hath been said by them of old time, Thou shalt not forswear thyself, but shalt perform unto the Lord thine oaths:
34 But I say unto you, Swear not at all; neither by heaven; for it is God’s throne:
35 Nor by the earth; for it is his footstool: neither by Jerusalem; for it is the city of the great King.
36 Neither shalt thou swear by thy head, because thou canst not make one hair white or black.
37 But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.
38 Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth:
39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
40 And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also.
41 And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.
42 Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.
43 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
46 For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?
47 And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?
48 Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.

2Matthew 6:1-24 (KJV)
1 Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.
2 Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
3 But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth:
4 That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.
5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.
7 But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.
8 Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.
9 After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
10 Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.
11 Give us this day our daily bread.
12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.
14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
16 Moreover when ye fast, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance: for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
17 But thou, when thou fastest, anoint thine head, and wash thy face;
18 That thou appear not unto men to fast, but unto thy Father which is in secret: and thy Father, which seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly.
19 Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:
20 But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:
21 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
22 The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light.
23 But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness!
24 No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

3Mark 12:18-34 (KJV)
18 Then come unto him the Sadducees, which say there is no resurrection; and they asked him, saying,
19 Master, Moses wrote unto us, If a man’s brother die, and leave his wife behind him, and leave no children, that his brother should take his wife, and raise up seed unto his brother.
20 Now there were seven brethren: and the first took a wife, and dying left no seed.
21 And the second took her, and died, neither left he any seed: and the third likewise.
22 And the seven had her, and left no seed: last of all the woman died also.
23 In the resurrection therefore, when they shall rise, whose wife shall she be of them? for the seven had her to wife.
24 And Jesus answering said unto them, Do ye not therefore err, because ye know not the scriptures, neither the power of God?
25 For when they shall rise from the dead, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage; but are as the angels which are in heaven.
26 And as touching the dead, that they rise: have ye not read in the book of Moses, how in the bush God spake unto him, saying, I am the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob?
27 He is not the God of the dead, but the God of the living: ye therefore do greatly err.
28 And one of the scribes came, and having heard them reasoning together, and perceiving that he had answered them well, asked him, Which is the first commandment of all?
29 And Jesus answered him, The first of all the commandments is, Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord:
30 And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.
31 And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.
32 And the scribe said unto him, Well, Master, thou hast said the truth: for there is one God; and there is none other but he:
33 And to love him with all the heart, and with all the understanding, and with all the soul, and with all the strength, and to love his neighbour as himself, is more than all whole burnt offerings and sacrifices.
34 And when Jesus saw that he answered discreetly, he said unto him, Thou art not far from the kingdom of God. And no man after that durst ask him any question.

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