I remember the day when the light bulb finally came on and I realized how deep in sin I really was. I could not believe the life I had led up to that point. I was in bitter sadness and knew that I’d be going to hell if I died. I remember being so depressed. I tried everything to change my wicked ways but nothing helped. I failed miserably every time I tried something. I was desperate for a miracle in my life. My heart was broken and I could not live another day in the guilt I was feeling. I was tormented day and night because of my sexual sin addiction. No matter how hard I tried to resist looking at pornography, thoughts kept coming back and I was back in the same rut as I always have. I could never look at women without lust in my heart. When the evil one came I had no shield, but easily gave in. There was pleasure in the moment but shame always came next. I hated the feelings of sorrow but felt like I was helpless. In that hour, I remembered God. I knew that the Lord God existed and decided to give Him a chance, though I had neglected His hand for so many years. I had enough of the life I was living and decided to come to the Lord in prayer. As I prayed and confessed my sins openly, tears were streaming down my face. I prayed as David did, 1“Lord, I cry unto thee: make haste unto me; give ear unto my voice, when I cry unto thee.” So I pleaded for His mercy. I was so sorry. I needed the Lord God in that hour. Only God had the power to change my life.
As I prayed to God, my flesh kept telling me that I was not worthy. How could God forgive someone such as I? I would tell myself. I’d say as Paul did, 2“O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?” I thought that my life was done for. I was too far gone for the Lord to rescue me. However, that was not the case at all. As I cried unto God, I felt a warm presence come over me. In that moment, I was amazed at the peace that had entered my heart. I knew that it was the Lord that was in the midst, showing me compassion. That night, I went to sleep feeling much better. The next day I felt well rested and awoke with a new found positive attitude. My sadness was slowly drifting away and gladness was entering my heart. As I entered my car, I put on a Christian Radio Station. It was then that the song, “lifesong” came on the radio. The lyrics of that song touched my heart and tears flowed down my face. I then prayed to God and trusted in Him enough to play that same song on my SD Card. To my amazement, the same song did play. In the moment, the Lord came to me. He spoke to my heart and said, “Paul, your sins are forgiven”. Oh the mercy of God. I will never forget this experience, for it was the beginning of a new life in Christ. I have a shield now and it is Christ the Lord. With Him, I am able to resist temptation. We are never too far gone. The Lord is anxiously awaiting for us to come to Him.
Let us pray:
Oh Lord, thank You for hearing my cries and rescuing me. You heard my confessions and had mercy upon my soul. Only You could take all the vile passions from my heart. You have taken all my shame and filled me with gladness. There was so much guilt for what I had done but now there is gratitude. Only You can cleanse my heart and have compassion for a person like me. Thank You Lord. Most people would have given up on me but Your mercy never wavered. I never knew there was someone that could love me so much, even though my heart was so wicked. How deep is Your love? I will never understand Your kindness, Lord. The first day that You came to me, I will never forget Your presence. There is peace, when You are there. There is no sorrow but hope for a new day. Only You could lead me on this new path. Thank You for Your direction. I trust in You, Jesus. I gave my life to You then and will continue to give You my life, every day of my life. You are worth more. I love You. Amen.
Let us read the Bible:
Note: Any Numbered References, found above, are listed below.
1Psalm 141 (KJV)
1 Lord, I cry unto thee: make haste unto me; give ear unto my voice, when I cry unto thee.
2 Let my prayer be set forth before thee as incense; and the lifting up of my hands as the evening sacrifice.
3 Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips.
4 Incline not my heart to any evil thing, to practise wicked works with men that work iniquity: and let me not eat of their dainties.
5 Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness: and let him reprove me; it shall be an excellent oil, which shall not break my head: for yet my prayer also shall be in their calamities.
6 When their judges are overthrown in stony places, they shall hear my words; for they are sweet.
7 Our bones are scattered at the grave’s mouth, as when one cutteth and cleaveth wood upon the earth.
8 But mine eyes are unto thee, O God the Lord: in thee is my trust; leave not my soul destitute.
9 Keep me from the snares which they have laid for me, and the gins of the workers of iniquity.
10 Let the wicked fall into their own nets, whilst that I withal escape.
2Romans 7:14-25 (KJV)
14 For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin.
15 For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I.
16 If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good.
17 Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.
18 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.
19 For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.
20 Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.
21 I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me.
22 For I delight in the law of God after the inward man:
23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.
24 O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?
25 I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.
