As I allow the Lord to create in me a clean heart, please allow Him to do the same for you. We need the Holy Spirit to lead us. If you truly knew God’s intents for your life, you would never purposely live a life of sin ever again. Instead, you’d be seeking Him day in and day out, that you may know His will and live it accordingly. And while in prayer, if the Lord convicts us of sin, it will be welcomed, that we may repent of anything that offends Him. For to displease the Lord in any way, would not be the intention of a true Christian. This is when true confession can take place and mercy can finally be found in the Lord. So if you are ready to go all in for Christ, then come unto Jesus today. He is our Lord and Savior and desires to lead you from the darkness of sin and addiction and lead you into His light. Know that His forgiveness is for everyone but we must also be willing to allow Him to cleanse us first of every sin. The more you don’t give into Him and keep living how you please, is when His judgments will fall upon you. Nobody wants to go hell, but unfortunately, it is because people aren’t willing to give up certain things that God hates, that this happens in death. So, if you want to be on the Lord’s side, then allow Him to create in You a clean heart today. Do not delay the day of your repentance, for tomorrow may not come.
Now myself and David have a lot in common. We both lusted after women and commit adultery, in the meantime. I was also big into looking at pornography. However, just as David repented and came to the Lord often for mercy and cleansing, this eventually was my life as well. I had enough of all the guilt and shame that came with seeing another woman on the side and also looking at women naked on the internet. It was only ever good for a moment of time, and then I could feel the wrath of God upon me. It was also very shameful to hide it from my wife and kids. I portrayed myself as someone that loved them but my actions said differently. I got to a point that I was broken inside, like David was, when he had sexual relations with Bathsheba, who was married. This pretty much destroyed how I viewed my wife and other women. There was no love for her but only wanting more physically that she could not offer. The relationship became sexual and because I didn’t get enough sex, I was always upset. And what was worse was how I treated her because of it. My attitude towards her was emotionally damaging. Now all this came crashing down on me, one day, when I was finally caught by my wife. It was then that I had to make the decision of my life.
The decision was, since my wife now knows about the adultery, by way of texting, what road should I take next? What was most important? Her or this other women? And the conclusion was, my wife was most important to me. Though, I felt in my heart that my wife may never trust me again, nor forgive me, I wanted to make things right again anyways. So I told her I wanted to work things out and by doing that, I broke all ties with the other woman. I also broke down and told her about my addiction to pornography and how I wanted help. At the same time, I told her that I wanted to get things right with God. As at this time in my life, I had not given my life to Jesus yet. So to start this process off, I decided to find a good church and ended up settling with Calvary Chapel Boise. This time was still very dark for me, as I was still trying to figure out how to stop looking at pornography. It also had a hard time with going to church on my own. However, while in service one day, I heard about a Sexual Purity class being offered. And right then, I knew that this was for me. At the same time, there was a marriage class, and I got my wife to go that with me. Though my life was headed in the right direction, everything started settling in, when I finally confessed my sins to Jesus and was cleansed.
It was in prayer that I found peace with God. He heard my confessions and His healing power took over my life. My prayers were much like David’s in Psalm, chapter 51, where it reads, 1“have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me. Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight. ” 1“Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice. Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.” This same desires came over me, as I cried out to God for forgiveness and mercy. 2I had heard in the Bible that being born again was necessary and I wanted more than ever that God would cleanse me and use the Holy Spirit to guide me in the ways that are good.
Now I will confess that my road to forgiveness and feeling of God’s grace in my life took time. It isn’t because it has to be this way, but because I held out to God. If I had repented early on, then I could have been forgiven earlier and been right on to know His path of righteousness. But just as I am and most people are, we are stubborn sometimes and we think that we know the direction we should take. Now this is exactly why my conversion took some time. It was, however, much different, when I gave the Lord my whole heart. This is when He was able to come into my life openly and cleanse me of all sin. It was then up to me to forgive myself of my past transgressions. And though it took a while, I now know that my past transgressions are wiped away in the eyes of God. I’ve also come to know that if David and I can be forgiven, then anyone can be. All it takes is faith and trust in Jesus and His forgiveness is for us. Lastly, we will read what David said when He also prayed to God for healing. It reads, 1“restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit. Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee.” This my desire now. Through the Spirit, I ask God to use me, in order to lead the lost to Him, that they may be found and converted.
Let us pray:
Oh Lord, I am so grateful that you found me when I was so broken inside. Many years ago, I was so lost and headed on the wrong path, but it was because of much prayer that everything changed. You saw my intentions to do everything I could to restore my marriage and to leave the addiction of pornography behind. It was just up to me to go the extra mile and come unto You for help. I had already looked at different avenues for assistance but as time went on, I knew that only Your healing was able to lead me out the darkness, that had me bound, in order to come unto Your light and find freedom. By myself, I was not able to resist temptation and was not able to fight against Satan. However, as I came to You in confessions, Your holy presence came upon me. I may not have had any way to deal with my addictions in the past, but with You on my side, things became very different. First of all, You came and cleansed me of all my sins and gave me a new heart. A heart that had the power to fight against sin, by way of the Holy Spirit. Because Your mercy was for me, I was made stronger to resist the temptations of this world. You built me up to the point, Lord, that I now hate sin. Even the appearance of pornography is like a dagger to the soul. I want nothing of it, as it offends me deeply. I pray that others will also escape this life of sexual sin. Come and convict these people of their sins, that they may also repent and be healed today. I trust in You, Jesus. You are my Healer. I love You Lord. Amen.
Let us read the Bible:
Note: Any Numbered References, found above, are listed below.
1Psalm 51 (KJV)
1 Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.
3 For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.
4 Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.
5 Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.
6 Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.
7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
8 Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.
9 Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities.
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
11 Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.
12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.
13 Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee.
14 Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness.
15 O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise.
16 For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: thou delightest not in burnt offering.
17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.
18 Do good in thy good pleasure unto Zion: build thou the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then shalt thou be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness, with burnt offering and whole burnt offering: then shall they offer bullocks upon thine altar.
2John 3:1-7 (KJV)
1 There was a man of the Pharisees, named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews:
2 The same came to Jesus by night, and said unto him, Rabbi, we know that thou art a teacher come from God: for no man can do these miracles that thou doest, except God be with him.
3 Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.
4 Nicodemus saith unto him, How can a man be born when he is old? can he enter the second time into his mother’s womb, and be born?
5 Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.
6 That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.
7 Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again.
I appreciate your honesty Paul. Truly God is a merciful God!