The Bible is clear when it says, “children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.” (Ephesians 6:1-3) However, we don’t always have children that love God enough as to honor both of their parents, let alone one. Sometimes it isn’t just a son or daughter who has backslidden because of drugs, alcohol, having sex outside of marriage, hanging out with the wrong kids, or getting into mischief, but other things in the house also. When the Bible says that the child needs to honor their father and their mother it isn’t just talking about the trouble they get into, but how they treat their parents. It can be how they talk to one parent but have no desire to talk to the other one for some reason or not. These children often want nothing to do with him/her. So one parent has to suffer because of this. It is hard to understand why a child decides to confide with their mother or their father more. It is sad that in this time of this troublesome child’s life, their love has shifted to only one parent. If only these children had the Holy Spirit in them. For “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance.” (Galatians 5:22) But sometimes, as much as we try to lead a child to Jesus, it doesn’t work until they are older. This is because their devices, video games, toys, and other things begin to mean more to them than other things like God. And they are happier if a parent lets them use them as they desire.
A defiant and troublesome child often talks to one parent differently. One parent could enter their room and they would love being around them, but when another enters they are told immediately to leave the room. That same parent may ask them what they are listening to with their headphones on, but instead of responding nicely, they scream and yell, thinking that you are judging them. So they get this vibe that you are being mean to them. This happens often when one parent allows their children to watch what they want, while the other parent sets rules. The one with rules is often shown as being the mean parent. These kinds of kids, especially with me having a child like this, is very difficult in knowing what to do with them. Because it makes you feel like they don’t even like you anymore, let alone love you. Especially when they don’t act this way with your spouse, but they do it to you instead. Again, this is a very difficult thing that happens in families, and often times it is because this child has not experienced what the love of Christ is. For if they did, they would be loving and respecting your wishes just like their other parent. All this rudeness would be removed from their hearts. And again, I pray that anybody that has a child like this will eventually learn from their mistakes. That they will grow out of this rebellious phase sooner than not. Then, can they be humbled enough to come to the Lord Jesus Christ for themselves and be saved. Because if they were saved, they would not be acting out like this but would be honoring both their parents.
Let us pray:
Oh Lord, I pray that children in the faith will learn to honor both of their parents. That even when one parent seems to be more strict than the other, that they will love them both the same. Sometimes one parent is further alone in the faith and can see the pitfalls before their child sees things. And when confronting that child with what they are watching on their devices or games they are playing, they need to know that we have their best interests at heart. We are not judging them, but trying as hard as we can to lead them in the right way that leads to You, Jesus. I know it isn’t easy, especially when we feel like we have found our right footing in Your kingdom and now new and different rules have to be set forth for our children. We are made different, because the Holy Spirit is with us, and we pray that our children will follow suit. But this cannot happen if we continue to sit idly by while they continue to watch the same things on their devices. They cannot continue to watch the same shows and movies on TV. They cannot continue to play the same types of video games. If these things do not honor You, then they need to stop. And Lord, help me as a parent to reach my children. May these rules not come with push back and rudeness. And help my wife to confide me in what I am trying to do for my children for Your sake. I only desire for them to live for You and not the world. It is my desire to see my children come to know You and be saved, but I know this can’t happen if I let them live like the world does. I just pray that they will continue to honor me in this. The same with my wife also. I love You, God. May Your love reside in this house and keep us from falling. Amen.