There is no greater joy than to be in the presence of God. To be restored into His bounteous light is amazing. I stand in awe at what the Lord has done for me. For many years, my life was in shambles. I was spotted by all my addictions. I could not walk straight, for my eyes were full of lust. Oh the guilt that accumulated. It was so overbearing. I could hardly stand without falling back on my face, over and over again. I had no strength to resist temptation. Each time the devil came to try me, I fell hard. It started with justifying sex before marriage. I thought no one but her would ever know. I could always repent later. However, this little sin grew until it overtook me. After that relationship, my flesh battled inside of me. I longed to be fulfilled sexually. Then came marriage and still it could not tame my wicked heart. Soon pornography came creeping into my life and my secret life of sin began. And once the doors opened, I could not back down. The lure of the satisfaction in the moment was too great. Soon, looking at it, became a weekly occurrence. I always wanted to get that high I once had. However, it never was the same and I always felt terrible about what I did. The guilt was so heavy. I always felt so dirty inside. Eventually, I turned to God in my wicked and unclean state. I had forgotten God for so long and when I finally remembered Him, I felt I was long gone for any forgiveness. How could God forgive such a sinner like me, I’d say. I was so broken inside. Depression even kicked in as I thought there was nothing left for me in life. Tears would stream down my face as I’d fall asleep. I could see the awful husband and father I’d become. However, in all this brokenness, my mind was refocused on one important thing and that is God.
Though I felt far from the Lord, I started looking to Him for relief. In all my shame, I came to God for mercy. Though I didn’t think He’d welcome such a person like me, home, I asked that He forgive me. David’s prayer was much like mine, 2“Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.” Though I had been so far from Him, I didn’t want that to continue. I knew that I was unable to break my addictions on my own. Only Jesus could. For this my prayers continued ever so fervently. Each day I fell, I came back to the Lord. For the first time in my life, I didn’t stay down but got back up. I wasn’t knocked down for long but got back up to fight the battle. My intentions were that God would 2“Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.” I acknowledged that no matter what I did that 2“sin is ever before me”. I could either lay down in defeat or walk victorious in the Lord. And my decision was in. I’d fight with Jesus, by my side. I wasn’t going to let Satan rule my life any longer. And soon, something amazing happened. My thoughts of not belonging to God began to change. It wasn’t God’s desire to leave me desolate but the devil. He was putting those thoughts in my mind that God didn’t love me. This acknowledgement led me to seek the Lord above all. His has become the delight of my soul. In the service to my King, I can feel abundant 2“joy and gladness”. My life has been restored. 3I am born again. There is salvation for anyone that comes to Jesus. Because I have been converted, I wish the same for everyone. That all sinners may be converted unto the Lord. 2“My tongue shall sing aloud of” God’s righteousness. 2“My mouth shall shew forth” praise.
Let us pray:
Oh Lord, I am grateful for Your mercy. Thank You for rescuing such a wretched soul like me. Thank You for having so much patience for me, though I fell so often. Thank You for pulling me back up when I fall. I am strengthened every day that You are there. My life is in order with You in my life. I can do greater things with You as my guide. I love Your counsel. Your wisdom is great. I no longer wish to be alone. May the lusts of my flesh have no more power over me. May my passion to serve You, come before everything. Lord, I wish everyone could see Your great love. I wish they could see what they are truly missing out on, without You in their life. You complete me in every way possible. I was weak but, now, I am strong. I was blind but cannot see. I was lost but am now found. 1You are my good shepherd. I shall fear no evil. I love You. Amen.
1Psalm 23:1-6 (KJV)
1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
2Psalm 51:1-15 (KJV)
1 Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.
3 For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.
4 Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.
5 Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.
6 Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.
7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
8 Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.
9 Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities.
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
11 Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.
12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.
13 Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee.
14 Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness.
15 O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise.
3John 3:1-7 (KJV)
1 There was a man of the Pharisees, named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews:
2 The same came to Jesus by night, and said unto him, Rabbi, we know that thou art a teacher come from God: for no man can do these miracles that thou doest, except God be with him.
3 Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.
4 Nicodemus saith unto him, How can a man be born when he is old? can he enter the second time into his mother’s womb, and be born?
5 Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.
6 That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.
7 Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again.