God wishes every marriage was full of love and life. However, what soon happens in marriage is that looks tend to wear off and because of this, affection becomes harder and harder to find. If a marriage is not built on friendship and good communication, then relationships will suffer as times go by. Let us think back at our wedding vows. Every marriage couple goes to the alter and makes vows to love and cherish for their spouse for the rest of their life. I am sure you can remember this special time. I know that I do. As I looked into my wife’s eyes, I could only imagine the amazing life ahead of us. There was much to look forward to, for I was madly in love with her. I could see so much potential for our lives together. I was so excited. However, as time went by, things became hard. The love we had while dating was slowly starting to fade. It got to the point where affection was given but not received. At first it was me not showing affection and then my wife. It became a constant cycle since a good friendship with communication was never built. In these times, sex was never good since true intimacy was not present. The more we struggled without love and good communication, the harder things became. Divorce would be brought up, as my heart could not take the pain any longer. I needed more than just love from God but also the love of my spouse to sustain me. Without her love, it was hard to look forward to the future, in this marriage. I needed both God’s and my wife’s help to bring this marriage back to life.
As I’ve found out over time, both spouses have very different needs that need to be met, in order to have a healthy marriage. For some, love and affection is key. For the other person, support and good communication is most important. On the side of the person wanting love and affection, kissing, hugging, cuddling, holding hands and sex helps them feel love. On the side of the person wanting support and good communication, finding time to know what their day was like, supporting their job and decisions around the house, and making time to truly talk with them is what helps them know you care. Both desires are great, but wouldn’t it be better if both spouses strive to do things they desire along with things their spouse desires also. All I can say is, when this has happened in my marriage, things have been much better. However, when we stop doing these kinds of things is when issues start to creep in. For instance, waiting for our spouse to respond to our needs, instead of considering their desires, can lead to a loss of love. For whatever reason this is happening, forgive your spouse. Come to them and tell them you are sorry. Express the need to fix your marriage. 1If you want a marriage that is vibrant, as do I, then begin to love and communicate with your spouse, as you do God in prayer. As you do these things, the easier it will get, until it comes naturally. I may not be the best at this now but it doesn’t mean that I won’t put these things into effect, starting today. I pray that you will do the same.
A marriage without love and affection is broken. If there is never any hugs, kissing, cuddling, or sex, this will drive a spouse for divorce. Showing love also includes finding time to communicate and support their spouse in what they are doing. Remember to also express how you are feeling with your spouse. Skip the blame game. When counsel if given from your spouse or another, understand your faults and accept what needs to change in your life and your marriage. If there is no love and affection in your marriage now, ask your spouse why and what you can do to help change this. Love along with great communication equals a marriage set on God’s standards. As a marriage couple we cannot leave these things out of our daily life and still expect a healthy marriage. If you have done this, imagine the drama that this has caused in your spouse’s life. He or she may very well feel unloved and broken inside because of this. If there is no love and affection in marriage, there is no intimacy. Love is the key. Otherwise, sex can feel like filthy rags. 1God’s love is important in marriages but if you are not allowing His love to be on display in your marriage, then there is a big problem. Don’t let your marriage spiral out of control. Do what is necessary to revitalize your marriage. Make loving and communicating with your spouse a priority. Please take this to heart. Confess your sins before God. In repentance, allow God to help you show love to your spouse. God bless you.
Let us pray:
Oh Lord, I pray for a special blessing upon my marriage and upon others that are also in need. We need Your hand in our marriage. Lord, I need Your help, above all things, to resurrect my marriage. May You breathe new life into it. Just as You have resurrected my faith into following You, please help my marriage to do the same. May both our hearts become one, as we love You. May our desires be conformed to Your will. Help us look more so on what our spouse needs over our own. Help us to show love towards one another. Help us grow our friendship and have better communication towards each other. Help us lean on each other’s shoulders, as we lean on Yours. May our actions speak of our love for You. May our words be worthy of Your praise. I trust that You can lead us back into Your love. Help us both to know that we are loved and cherished above all things. This prayer is for my marriage and for everyone that needs Your help in their marriage, as well. As You come to our needs, will You come to their lives as well. Help any of my friends and family with any marriage problems. I know You can do all things. You are my greater healer. I love You. Amen.
Let us read the Bible:
Note: Any Numbered References, found above, are listed below.
1Ephesians 5:22-33 (KJV)
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.