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Marriage Works When Three People Are Involved

It takes three people in a marriage to make it work. The husband and wife, plus God. Without the Lord, there will be strife. In every marriage we need to stop thinking that it takes two people to make a marriage work. With only two people involved, the marriage will never get on the right track. If we forget God in our marriage, then there will never be a sense of security for one another or love that lasts. There will always be arguments, because one person is trying to follow God and the other person is not. If people want to have a successful marriage like I do, then both spouses that are involved need to come unto Christ and be willing to follow Him and do as He wills for their lives. They also need to see how God sees and parent the way He would also. If both of our desires are not kept to the Lord’s doing, then there will be continued strife. And this will continue until the Holy Spirit comes into both of spouses and leads them. Without the Holy Spirit in the marriage, one person is going to be guided and the other person is do their own thing and parent the way they want to parent, even though it goes against God’s will. For example. if one parent wants to have daily Bible study with the family, but the other person can’t make time for that or want it, then it will not work out, and kids will not be taught in the ways of the Lord. Another example is if one spouse wants the kids to watch good and wholesome things on watch on TV that involve Jesus and other person doesn’t, there is conflict in this. Both spouses need to be on the same page when it comes to TV watching and how much time is good for them.

When it comes to our kids, they need to be onboard with obeying both of their parents and not just one. They should not be disobeying what one parent is saying and running to their other parent in disregard to his/her needs. If one parent is always willing to give into the children’s needs, in disregard to the other parent, then that parent is also dishonored and respected. There is no love for our parents when we disobey one and go to the other instead. God said, 1“honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.” (Exodus 20:12) This commandment is very important for children and both parents to understand. If one spouse is always right, then there is only respect given to that parent, by both the spouse and the children. In doing this, they are dishonoring God in their actions. This is a real problem that goes against God’s will that needs fixed. Please understand that if a spouse is not backing up the other parent when it comes to parenting, then their own sinful desires are getting in the way. For a marriage to work, It cannot just be what one parent says to the kids that goes, otherwise the other parent will continually feel resentment and never think that what they say matters. Children should be taught to honor and obey both father and mother, and when this is not happening, strife and fighting will begin to emerge. This is so unnecessary and would all be resolved if each spouse was in line with God and was seeking Him daily. It is this reason that people should never marry another person that is not in the faith. If this happens, then this type of contention, that I mentioned above, will be a part of that marriage, unless something changes.

Any successful marriage needs to have the husband and wife both working together for God or else it will crumble and end in divorce. As Paul said, 2“let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.” (1 Corinthians 7:3) This type of respect and love in a marriage is so necessary if both spouses want things to work. I hate to mention divorce, but it is Satan that quenches the love out of marriages and causes a spouse to go their separate ways. And when the love is missing, because of another parent not seeing eye to eye with what the other person of faith wants to do, then it is hard to bear over time. Also, If we as brothers and sisters in the faith cannot raise our children up in the Lord, then the love we once had for our spouse will dry up quickly, until only God’s love is left. This is because raising our children up correctly is high on our priorities list and when this is not allowed, then resentment does come in. And nobody wants to be in a marriage where love is not present. It is never good to have one person say, “I love you” and other person disregard them. The same can be said for a spouse that wants to hold hands, hug or kiss their spouse regularly, but their spouse resists their love. When this happens, sadness and even depression comes into that spouse’s heart that is only trying to show love. This is so sad, but so often the case for marriages now-a-days. No wonder why people want out. Now, please know that I am not for divorce, but it is hard to not say it is necessary when the other spouse isn’t willing to show or work on showcasing any love towards their spouse. It is love that makes marriages work, but when it is quenched, that is when wanting to stay married is hard.

Now, concerning a person that is married to an unbelieving spouse this is what Paul had to say about that matter… 2“And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?” (1 Corinthians 7:10-16) Therefore, our children can still be blessed in the ways of the Lord if the spouse is willing to let us raise them this way. However, this is very difficult when God is not allowed in regular conversation. Lastly, if the unbelieving person leaves their spouse and divorces, there is no fault in this to the believer. God will prepare another faithful man or women for that person. In saying this, we should always try to work things out before rash decisions like this happens. And of course, only God can mend a broken marriage, that is if they both give ear to Him.

Let us pray:
Oh Lord, I pray for those in marriages that are having a hard time. Surely, it is hard to bear the times we have with our spouse when love is absent. We can hardly go one when love is being withheld from the person we thought loved us. And Lord, You know who is struggling with this type of turmoil right now and can help them. May you lift up those that people that are sorrowful and even depressed because of their marriage situation. We cannot carry on without Your love in our lives and it is very hard when love is missing in our marriage. As believers, it is Your love that carry’s us onward and gives us hope. For that reason, we plead for Your continued presence in our lives. We need the Holy Spirit to spark the fire back in our marriage, and that can only come from You. We can try to find joy in other places, but it will never last, unless You are the one that has given it. Even our spouse can find a way to love, when they have not shown it for a few months or years. You are the one that can spark the reason for them to forgive and no longer hold grudges. Every wall can come crumbling down when we simply give our hearts over to You. And Lord, I pray for salvation in the lives of marriages of a unbelieving spouse. Life is hard when Your will is not being realized in a marriage, because of other thoughts and desires of our spouse. But, I know that You can show Yourself to them, that they may see You, as we have, and be saved. No marriage needs to end in a divorce when You have the power to change the atmosphere. It Is Your presence that ushers in the love that is lost. We are restored in a new life with You when we believe. There is also a brand new love relationship with our spouse when we both believe. Your ways are higher and I hope and pray that my wife and children will be saved one day. You are my God and I trust in You. May Your love be fully restored in this marriage and others. I love You Lord. Amen.

Let us read the Bible:
Note: Any Numbered References, found above, are listed below.

1Exodus 20:1-17 (KJV)
1 And God spake all these words, saying,
2 I am the Lord thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.
3 Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
4 Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.
5 Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;
6 And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.
7 Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain; for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.
8 Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.
9 Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work:
10 But the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates:
11 For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it.
12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.
13 Thou shalt not kill.
14 Thou shalt not commit adultery.
15 Thou shalt not steal.
16 Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.
17 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s.

21 Corinthians 7:1-17 (KJV)
1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.
7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.
9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
17 But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.

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